Harnessing the Power of Self-Anger for Personal Growth

Sometimes we piss ourselves off. Sometimes we have only ourselves to blame for what happens to us. When you lock yourself out of the house, forget about an important deadline or miss your chance to tell someone how you feel about them, you may just get angry at yourself. Despite self-directed anger being a relatively common emotion in everyday life, it has escaped the attention of both philosophers and psychologists. Why?

Perhaps it is because it can get mixed up with feelings of shame and guilt, two emotions that are often triggered by the same sorts of situations. Indeed, it might be appropriate to feel ashamed for forgetting about a deadline, or for failing to profess your love to someone, and certainly, if you’ve locked out not only yourself but also your family, you might feel guilt as well as self-anger. That there be an overlap in eliciting situations is no reason to ignore the emotion of self-anger, however, and if we keep neglecting the emotion, we will never find out if it has an important or distinctive role to play in our lives.

To investigate the function of self-anger, we need to take a closer look at its nature. So, what is self-anger?

Self-anger, as the name implies, is a form of anger directed towards oneself. However, we must delve deeper into its characteristics to differentiate it from other negative self-directed emotions. By examining paradigmatic cases of anger, we find that self-anger shares the motivation to confront its target and effect change, despite exhibiting different behavioral tendencies like avoidance.

1. Exploring the Distinctions: Unlike guilt and shame, which typically involve norm transgressions or failures to meet self-ideals, self-anger specifically responds to perceived offenses. It involves a divided self, where one part is seen as offending the other. This internal conflict sets self-anger apart, as it combines a confrontational stance with the desire for self-improvement. While situations triggering self-anger, guilt, and shame may overlap, self-anger is distinctive when change becomes the primary goal.

2. The Motivational Power of Self-Anger: Appropriately channeled self-anger can serve as a powerful motivator for self-change. While guilt and shame can initiate the process of self-improvement, self-anger stands out due to its stern desire for change. Research suggests that individuals experiencing self-anger exhibit higher coping potential and are more confident in their ability to address problematic aspects of themselves. Moreover, self-anger has been associated with seeking support from others, creating an environment conducive to personal growth.

3. Practical Applications: To make the most of self-anger, it is crucial to discern when it is appropriate and when it becomes irrational or counterproductive. Recognizing situations that warrant self-anger and distinguishing them from those that require guilt or shame can help us overcome irrational self-anger. By cultivating self-anger, we can tap into its motivational powers and set ourselves apart from the aspects in need of improvement. Additionally, seeking support from others can be beneficial for self-angry individuals, as it facilitates the process of personal development.

In the end, Self-anger, though often overshadowed by guilt and shame, holds unique potential for personal growth. By understanding its distinct nature and harnessing its motivational energy, we can embark on a path of self-improvement. Recognizing when self-anger is appropriate and cultivating it can lead to transformative changes, as we strive to become better versions of ourselves.